Sometimes living in a house full of blokes gets to me.
Worse than that, I live among a regiment of gun firing Artillery, in a house with two teenage boys and a soldier husband. My bunting gets laughed at, my floral cushions hidden and my pretty white bed linen covered in pizza. The delicate poppy themed cups that I love are shoved to the back of the cupboard and in their place; we sip our tea from regimental mugs.
The most regular display in my hallway is a pile of dirty rugby/cricket/football/running kit, and on my fridge under my magnet telling me to ‘never give up’ is a picture of the three of them in full combat fatigues in the mud. It’s not as if this is strange to me, I grew up in a ‘bloke’ house too with three brothers and all their friends, who I think actually lived with us by stealth.
I have to confess that there are times when I just want a bit of girlie-ness in my life. This I get from spending time in Accessorize – not necessarily buying anything - just looking at all the pretty things. Or, I watch re-runs of the Great British Sewing Bee, or I go and chat to my mate and this gives me the fix I need.
I often moan to the Major that they make me feel like I live in a boys club. We have family movie night, usually on a Sunday where after supper we huddle round and watch a film together - with a vast bowl of popcorn, of course. Every movie night, we have to vote what film to watch. Last week the choices were, Captain America or Mamma Mia, three votes to one, I lost. The week before it was Reservoir Dogs or The Notebook, we voted again, guess who lost?
What makes it worse is not only do I lose the vote EVERY time; I often then can’t sit and watch the winner as they are too violent, too scary or too not up my street. Imagine my delight when the Major turned to me and said,
‘We’re taking you out for the afternoon.'
‘Oooh!’ I squealed, wondering what delights lay ahead.
I was so chuffed to be doing something with the gang. Afternoon tea? A stroll around the garden centre (I know - its my age!)? But no, they took me to the football.
OMG. I can think of better ways to spend my time than watching floppy fringed footballers with semi-trimmed beards chasing a little white ball. The man behind me kept shouting at the pitch ‘your mother’s a wh*re!’ I still can’t work out who he was shouting it at, but every time he did, people laughed, which only encouraged him!
One stand was singing a song that basically went ‘For he’s a **?2)*&%6! W*nk*r’ to the tune of ‘jolly good fellow’ over and over and worse still, my boys knew all the words!!
Smoke grenades were released in another stand and then the police swooped in on an unrelated incident and there was a fight - an actual fight! I didn’t know what to watch first the fight or the football. At half time, the Major offered me a pie and a pint. ‘Do they do sushi?’ I asked. My boys covered their eyes with shame. You could have heard a pin drop - apparently you don’t ask for sushi at a football match. Ever. To top it all off, after an excruciating 0-0 result, there was a pitch invasion.
I guess the lesson I’ve learnt is; I don’t actually want to be involved in their activities. Who knew?
Anyway, there is always movie night; tonight the vote is for Strictly Ballroom or Predator. I wonder which will win….
My feet haven’t touched the ground this week. I am in the writing zone and am really enjoying my new novel; we are again catching up with an old character. I love doing that, and she is in fine form! This one is called ‘Christmas for One’ and will be out at Christmas – shock horror!
For all those who haven’t read the free preview of my new novel out in July ‘Will You Remember Me?’ You can see it on my website www.amandaprowse.org - do let me know what you think.
Hope your week is good, your hearts light and that there is a spring in your step.
I’m off to a garden centre to fondle a flower or two… happy days!